Here stands a man who struggles with addiction, compulsive tendencies, bouts of depression, self-doubt and even loneliness, yet through God’s grace, has achieved a good measure of freedom. If you’re in need of a hero, don’t read this blog. If you are an idealist or perfectionist, you’ve come to the wrong place. I will be transparent about my life so it’s won’t always be pretty. There will be very little I will not reveal, and there are two reasons for this—one selfish, the other a gift to you. By opening up even the undesirable bits of my life, I hold myself accountable to you my readers. The perks of accountability are hard to quantify, especially for a man who by design, has few friends. Accountability serves as a constant reminder that everything we do in secret, no matter how secret, eventually affects those we love because what we do changes who we are.
My gift, is if you have been helped by the truths in my books or articles, then here you will get an intimate, detailed look at the pain that got me to those truths. You will see how the sausage is made, which, I should say, is not always a tidy business or pretty sight, yet can be surprising informative. This is why I say, if you are looking for a steel-skinned hero, well there will be no such man here. Instead, a flesh and bone human, often clawing his way up the hill of personal growth, or falling back in miserable defeat.
But between the clawing and falling there is enough victory to keep me going and hopefully keep you reading. I think the most interesting aspect of reading a life honestly told, is the clash of humility and divinity. Our striving and God’s intervention. It’s like watching the dynamic between a good parent and developing child—where to step in or where to let the child fall into their own mistakes so they can learn. And of course the more power a parent has over the child the more complicated those choices become.
The one thing I have learned is freedom is not for the faint of heart. And God does not hand it to you on a gold platter or we would all be living it. Most do not. But I hope this blog will be an encouragement not give up, fight the good fight, make the hard choices, and experience the freedom Jesus intended you to have. I invite you to do this journey with me.