“What kept me in touch with that vision was curtailing my obsessive nature, shutting my laptop and spending time with the Vision-Maker.”
What happens when something that you thought was going to take a year to do ends up taking almost three years? And what if that something is not tangible like building a house, where you can actually show your family and friends pictures of a finished foundation, or new wall that just went up? People start to wonder why you are never available, and when they hear for the 50th time, “I’ve got to work on the site all weekend” the excuse starts to grow thin. They think I have a secret girlfriend, and wouldn’t that been nice!
There were many nights lying in bed where I doubted whether this site was ever going to happen. I would stare up at the ceiling victimized by doubt. Is all the time-investment worth it? What if the new site does worse with google listings then the old site and all my traffic dies? What if after all this work, I get hit by a car and never see the fruit of my labor? (Seriously!) What if people hate the new design? And then for the hundredth time I would run into my livingroom, grab my laptop, breaking my own rule by bringing it to bed, and relook at my new unpublished site. But by this time it’s impossible to be objective. One minute I love it, the next, hate it!
I consider myself to be a pretty forward thinking guy, but my antique site, with it’s outmoded logo and outdated navigation system had become like a pair of comfortable slippers. Even though it took an hour to publish one article compared to 3 minutes on the new site, even though it’s obsolete coding was killing my google listings, to throw those old thread-bare slippers away for a new pair was hard—even fearful on those nights I couldn’t sleep.
Of course the crazy part is every time I would simply shut the laptop, banish it from my bed, and invite God into my obsessive thinking, I would find peace again. The purpose and vision behind all of this work would get back into focus, and then I would find joy. And here is the key to my peace and what kept me going: motive. When my motive gradually backslid into being all about how to best monetize traffic, I would lose my passion and joy. Stupidly, to try to feel better, I would tweak this and that on the new site—as if!—when all I had to do was shut the laptop and pray, even just a little. When I finally did pray, and get in touch with the original purpose and vision of Freedomyou—I mean FreedomYou, (after 12 years, it’s going to take some time to remember to capitalize the Y), I would feel passion and joy return.
The cool part is, if you do the ministry part well, then the money part will take care of itself. So there you are. What kept me focused and motivated was staying in touch with the vision God gave me for this site 12 years ago. And what kept me in touch with that vision was curtailing my obsessive nature, shutting my laptop and spending time with the Vision-Maker.