Insider’s Tips To Controlling Obsession

May 14, 2012 at 4:49 PM

“I knew I had to take action. I also knew it was going to hurt, at least at first. But it was going to take some pain to break this spell of obsession.”

I hate behavior that comes from obsessiveness. I come by it honestly­, it’s a part of the Lagerquist DNA, and at family dinners we are now able to laugh about some of the irrational thinking we share that too often leads to irrational behavior.

I have been able to identify the triggers that result in an onslaught of obsessive thinking. One of them is change, because change makes me feel out of control. And when I feel out of control, I feel insecure. That’s when my obsessive mind goes to into overdrive trying to gain a feeling of control.

As most of you know, eight days ago I trashed the old Freedomyou website and launched a brand new FreedomYou site. My expectation was that the moment we made the switch, book sales would go through the roof, Google listings would explode, the sun would shine and there would be world peace. Well, you guessed it, the very opposite happened. Sales died, Google listing followed and so did my faith and joy. I was blue with disappointment.

Then came the irrational fears. The “what ifs.” What if it was big mistake that I changed the website? What if I never get my Google listings back again? What if my old site was somehow special? What if the new site offers too much information so people no longer feel a need to buy the books? What if God is unhappy with the new site? On and on and on. And the obsessive behavior that followed was checking sells, traffic stats, and Google listing over and over, all day. The more I checked, the less peace I had, and the crazier the “what ifs” became. Obsession is a kind of insanity, and here’s the real nasty part, the Holy Spirit cannot communicate to an obsessive mind.

So I knew I had to take action. I also knew it was going to hurt, at least at first. But it was going to take some pain to break this spell of obsession. I needed to stop checking sales, traffic stats, and Google listings for a one full week. A week! If any of you have a site that gets good traffic, you know how hard this would be. It was a decision that was more powerful than any prayer, because I was communicating something to God. “You come first, You’re in control, and I’m going to trust You.”

It took all of three to four hours before I felt my sanity return. I could pray, and the tiny little obsessive world I was living in broke open and for the first time in days.  I could hear the birds again, see the trees again, and feel the presence of God. Thinking became much more rational, fear subsided and there was so much more to life than book sales and web traffic.

It’s now a few days of no checking sales, stats and listings, and the obsession is gone. My webmaster Steve, warned me months ago, that it can take 6-8 weeks for Google listings to adjust.  That makes complete sense to a mind that was not controlled by obsession. 

The fact is we have very little control over the big things. I could spend a year and get in the best shape of my life, and get hit by a McDonalds truck the next day. Checking and rechecking stats may create an allusion of control, but that’s all it was, an allusion.  Real security comes from loosening my fists, letting go of control, and trusting—really trusting my Father, even if what He is doing doesn't make any sense to me.

Here is a word of advice. Guard your peace. You will make much better choices when your mind is at peace. It’s a peaceful mind that is able to commune with God. Sometimes guarding your peace means having to take an honest look at yourself, which will probably result in making painful choices. I have found the more painful the choice the greater the payoff. 

Posted in: Breaking Obsession


Comments (10) -

United States Nichole c says:

I love the site!  Starting a 40 day water fast NOW!! Wish me luck I hope to succeed this time- longest 15 days sooo ? We will c


I like the new site and I am hoping the traffic picks up on the site.  I so appreciate having a Christian Fasting and Health website.  It is great!


Canada rlagerquist says:

Thanks Cindi, it's already picking up. It will take a few months to really take off. Will keep you posted.


Lose traffic, LOL; God will send people to your site; I was doing research on how to set up a blog and an ecommerce site to sell ebooks and God told me repeatedly to come to this site; still figuring out why He said that, but I know He spoke. Smile

(I know part of the reason is to show me what a personal development website can look like from a Christian perspective.)


I need to fast because right now I can't fellowship with my husband ( who we are both born-again, spirit-filled Christians) and my children. My son and his wife are backslidden and I think it has something to do with being in fellowship with them when I go back. They live 10 miles away.  I need to fast so God will answer me for their salvation, so that I can go back with my husband.  When I try to stay with him,( I live 30 miles away), I get attacked by demonic spirits. So, also, I use food in place of God at times, which is idolatry and I need set free from that.


Keep up what you are doing....I am so happy to have found your site. Thank you for keeping it from a Christian perspective, The "world" does not understand the closeness that we desire. I knew fasting was out there but I never knew the huge physical, emotional and spiritual benefits!


United States Lindsey says:

This site has changed my life, starting when I was a teen. I'm on my first day of my fifth fasting experience, and it's brought so many positive changes to my life. I've read a lot about juice fasting over the years, but this was the place that gave me the courage to try it.


I am SO THANKFUL to have found this site!  What a work God has been doing in me through fasting, and what a blessing your site has been to educate and encourage me as I fast longer and dig deeper with God than I ever imagined!  And I know it can be an issue to give out too much information for free when you have books to sell, but it is so appreciated by those of us who can't spend a lot of money on books and such, and you and your site are definitely being used by Him.  He will bless you for that.


Just found your site today. God is so faithful - he led me here today by the most awesome, circuitous route that I could have never even dreamed possible!
Keep up the great work - we all need a helping hand.
God bless you!


If you love this site then support Ron by buying some if his books! I bought his book on fasting and its. the best Christian book I've ever read. I do not know Ron personally and he did not pay me to say this...seriously lol


Add comment

  Country flag

  • Comment
  • Preview