Ron Lagerquist raw and unedited

I had some early morning thoughts about this whole JUDGEMENT SEAT OF CHRIST thing. It was bugging me in a bad way. For some of us who have been weaned on oppressive religion, where an unhealthy fear of God’s judgement was used as a whipping-rod to subdue the unruly child within, the imagery of a huge God-Monster sitting high on a massive throne, glaring down at us filthy sinners, demanding with a booming voice, “give account of your life!” well, the image sucks to be honest. When I think about it, it makes me feel very alienated from the Aba Father that I have grown so close to during the best moments of my spiritual journey. But sitting in the car in the parking lot of my work this morning, battling old feelings of rejection and fear, I realized it has to be something else. I must be reading into what JUDGEMENT SEAT OF CHRIST is. 

Then I thought about Who will be sitting in that chair. It will not be the great accuser, the one who has worked on trying to destroy my self-image for as long as I can remember. It will not be my father or mother who blundered their way through parenthood, ripping and damaging three trusting kids as they tried to keep their own heads above water. 

It will the same person who allowed little kids to crawl all over him when his disciples tried to whisk them away. He will be the one who gently said “Mary,” who proclaimed, I will never leave you or forsake you. Who blasted religious leaders for heaping laws on the backs of the people without lifting a finger to help. He will be the one who touched the leper, filthy street people, grubby outcasts, and allowed a prostitute to wipe his feet with her tears. On a personal level, I will know him as a sheep knows his shepherd. He will have ugly crucifixion scares all over his body, even visible on his forehead, because he loved me so much to die so I don’t have to. But most importantly to me, the one sitting in front of me will be same one who said to a 18 year old, drug addicted kid, that no one wanted anything to do with, including my own father, “I want you to be my son,” with a passion and love that literally knocked me to the floor. Anyone else in the chair would suck, but I’m cool standing in front of Him and giving an account cus He gets me and I respect and trust Him.