Warning! Fasting Is Not Easy: Day 3

October 6, 2014 at 9:43 AM

These are the dog days of fasting. I dont remember fasting being this hard twenty years ago.

Morning three of fasting and I feel the weight of the day bearing down. There is a little detoxification, but its bearable. Ive had worse days than this. Im at work now; everything feels loud, fast and chaotic. I have done my best to clear this weeks calendar which was harder than it should have been. A major difference than years ago is I have become a far more a social creature. Im not the recluse I used to be. Moving to the big city, increased self-confidence in social situations, and finding a crowd that gets , even celebrates, my quirky personality,  I now have more  friends than I know what to do with. Texting friends. Starbucks friends. Girlfriends too. I have learned to enjoy hanging out, staff parties, going for dinner instead of doing everything alone. What has been sacrificed has been my meditative, writing lifestyle. The idea of hitting my home-office and writing all alone for the night is less appealing for me now than it used to be. So I guess it makes sense that fasting and solitude has become harder.

This week I will go home every night and mediate, fast, write and pray. The idea feels empty. That is always a bad sign.  The last two nights I switched my phone to flight mode, effectively cutting myself off to the world. (I gave up my landline two years ago.) The first night when I watched my phone disconnect from wireless, I had this depressed, lonely feeling. Thats a bad sign, I said to myself. I didnt want to pray. I sure had no desire to open my bible, so I watched a TV show for about an hour. I knew I was just putting something unpleasant off. Since when was spending time with God unpleansent? Bad sign. The slow, slow slide.

But how did I get to the place where spending time with God feels oppressive and undesirable? I know thats what fasting does. It fleshes out the answers to those hard-hitting questions. And the process of finding the answers can be painful. It really does feel like warfare. A lesser man would give the fast up, say this is not me, or make some lame excuse. I have heard them all before.

Posted in: Fasting

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interested you somehow recall fasting as warfare.  generally i find this outstandingly true for many reasons.  most clearly, because during times of war, soldiers, civillians and medical staff have often needed recovery from prolonged starvations, like from dangers or lack of resources.  often it is only the military that can save people from famines.  but also there are some specialists who train to endure long dry starvations, in order to master the psych and bio symptoms, such as to help others cope in trialsome conditions.  so it is good that you mention God.  the source of unlimited hope and human powered goodness, God being the provider of, must be a gppd starting thought for accomplishing long fasts.

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May you be in constant prayer during your time of fasting. Pray for a joyful attitude during this time as you seek to draw closer to our precious Lord by giving up some things in this world that pull you a way from the things of heaven.  

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