Ron Lagerquist raw and unedited

I have been fasting for two weeks. Today after coming home from a very long and boisterous Church service, I walked through the door to my apartment and had this intense desire to eat. The hunger was so overpowering it honestly reminded of sexual lust. Crackers and cream cheese with a naked green olive. Then came the rationalizations. It all happened so quickly I almost didn’t have time to stop myself from opening the fridge and grapping the cheese. In that moment my fast felt totally meaningless. I guess this fast is done, I thought to myself. God must be finished with this fast, I reasoned.

Luckily, I have been through this before. I knew what to do. Frequently when fasting and coming back home after spending time in a social setting, I will feel this emptiness and desire to break my fast. I have often asked why that is. But if I just wait, even 30 minutes alone in my apartment, and there it is.  The meaningfulness of the fast comes back into focus.  The desire to eat fads and I am grateful I didn’t blow it and eat. That was a close one.

It helps for me to think about Jesus’ fast. By the end of the 40 days, He hungered. Then guess who shows up? Satan suggests the He turn that dusty rock into a freshly baked loaf of bread still warm from the oven. Right within the hunger’s teeth, Jesus says no.

Here’s the point. The worse time to decide to break a fast is when I’m being tempted by hunger and feeling of meaninglessness. I have learned the hard way that when I do break my fast that way, it always leads to gorging and regret. But when I break my fast in peace and with a spirit of self-control, then all the benefits of my fast rolls over into my eating, which is most of the rest of my life. Every time I give in, I lose a little self-respect. And that’s exactly what Satan wants. But when I  say no to lust and hunger, I become stronger and more spiritually confidant. There’s a lot to be said for that. 

 How To Stay On Your Fast